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A Taliban commander is patrolling when he hears a shout from behind a sand dune. “One SAS soldier is better than ten Taliban fighters"
The commander is enraged at this cheek so quickly sends his 10 best soldiers over the dune. A few shots can be heard. When all is quiet there is no sign of the ten fighters. Another shout rings out.
"One SAS soldier is better than 100 Taliban fighters!"
The enraged commander rustles up 100 fighters and sends them over the dune. A fire fight erupts. When all is quiet there is no sign of the Taliban fighters. Another shout rings out.
"One SAS soldier is better than 1000 Taliban fighters!"
The commander, now livid, sends 1000 fighters over the dune. A fire fight lasting one hour ensures. When all is quiet, one dying fighter crawls back over the dune and into the arms of his commander.
"Don't send any more fighters. It's a trap. There are two of them!
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The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.
"Of course, my son," said the priest.
"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."
"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.
"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favours," continued the old man.
"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.
"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"
"Of course, my son," said the priest.
The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?"
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A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.
The Taliban asked, 'Do you have water?'
The Jewish man replied, 'I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.'
The Taliban shouted, 'Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"
'OK,' said the old Jewish man, 'it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.'
Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.
'Your ******* brother won't let me in without a tie."
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Jimmiiee
